Even if they said it was easy, I promise it wasn’t

First, let me start by saying: You’re going to be O.K.

A lot of times women boast about their easy Pregnancy, or maybe you’re instagram stalking pregnant women and while thinking to yourself how easy it looks like they have it.

I found myself equating people’s “easy pregnancy” to how much weight they gained, and the Snap Back after the baby. But the reality is... it’s so much more than that. That’s why when I hear people talk about their easy pregnancy, I take a deep breath and say to myself... YOUVE GOT THIS.

BECAUSE...Even if they said it was easy, I promise it wasn’t.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a first time mom or a second, third or fourth time mom....

Even if you had an “easy” pregnancy....

I can promise you the HARD parts about pregnancy are the same for us all.

1. Giving Up Control Is Freeking TOUGH

Every woman has to give up at least one thing during pregnancy. That thing is CONTROL. For the first time in my life, when I got pregnant, I stopped having control and it really freaked me out.

The first and most obvious is that we never know when the baby is coming. If you’re like me, and still try to have control over that, I hate to break it to you but it still doesn’t work. I elected to have a scheduled C-Section in hopes that selecting an exact day, would allow me to control my planning for the coming of my new baby. God did me a huge funny, and sent me into labor prior to my 38 week Scheduled C-section.

We also lose control of our bodies. They’re no longer ours. we are just a Vessel being used to create human life. Our new job has no lunch breaks... we are building a baby 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our bodies will change... a lot... even in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy. I remember looking at my hips even before I told everyone I was pregnant and freeking out.

One last word on this subject: No matter how many sonograms or 3-D pictures you get of your baby, you’re not going to know what it looks like until the day comes... so don’t bother stressing about it. LOL

2. The Comparison Game is taxing. Don’t even go there girl.

I remember I saw an instagram photo of Coco Austin leaving the hospital 3 days after having her baby and wondering how she had her perfect bottle figure back in 72 Hours. I immediately began putting pressure on myself, planning my meals, workouts, and how I was going to lose the 75 pounds I had gained in 30 days. (HAHA)

Even most recently I found myself scrolling on instagram looking at Natalie Halcrow’s profile and allowing my

mind to take me to the exact place of comparing I KNEW was toxic! Wondering why my sex appeal was clearly sub par compared to her.

My really simple advice: Stay off of instagram.

3. Pregnancy WILL change your relationship. No, I’m not being pessimistic. It doesn't have to be bad or good, IT. JUST. IS.

In my case, unfortunately my first pregnancy did negatively affect my relationship. (Spoiler alert— My second and current pregnancy has been quite the opposite for our relationship). My first pregnancy, I held grudges against my husband for almost a year after delivering because of what I expected from him vs. what I got. I spent the entire pregnancy feeling sorry for myself because of how I was feeling and this totally affected our relationship.

I wasn’t prepared for the stress that a new life would bring to our relationship but my one piece of advice is: get rid of your expectations from your partner and just do the best you can.

My husband and I’s relationship this time around is so much better, and we have actually grown closer because of our new little bundle of joy. It all boils down to expectations. We are doing the best we can.

4. Pregnancy will change your life FOREVER

Congratulations! You’re officially starting a new chapter that will change the trajectory of your entire life! It is a beautiful thing welcoming a baby into the world. Starting right now, you will never go a day without thinking about the little human being that’s inside of you and soon to be walking and talking, going to their first prom, high school graduation and beyond!

Your mind will constantlty and forever be running. Even when you’re on vacation trying to get drunk and have fun— you’ll be checking your phone to make sure grandma doesn’t need anything from you while she’s watching the kids. LOL.