Do you want to know my biggest emotional hurdle in entreprenuership? FIGURING OUT WHO TO TRUST. Who really has my back? How do I really find out who the right people are to associate with. Even further, who can I associate with that I know will have my back 100% of the time? The reality is you will never know what types of people will be quick to turn on you, or what types of people will always have your back if you don't know what characteristics you're looking for.
Let me be honest with you. I've been hurt, frustrated, and fed up with being stabbed in the back by my "friends", business partners, or people I considered family. But I have some good news. Your higher power (in my case... God) will NEVER ALLOW YOU TO LOSE ANYONE YOU ARE MEANT TO KEEP. #truthbomb . I want to share with you something my mentor shared with me about #relationships in business because as I progress, I become more increasingly aware that no matter what, the people that are in my life fall into 1 of 3 categories.
1. CONFIDANTS: The first one is easy. Confidants love you unconditionally. Your confidants are with you when you are okay, and they're with you when you're not ok. Confidants add value to your life. You always can expect to learn valuable lessons from confidants. They breathe life into you so that you can in turn breathe life into others. My opinion is that you will never ever start receiving blessings until you get a few confidants in your corner. Trust me, I know its hard to put faith in others... especially if you have been burnt one too many times. It may take you several years to find just 3 confidants... but you will KNOW who they are based on how they treat you with no strings attached. If confidants have an issue or problem with you, they will have enough RESPECT for your relationship they will come to you and work it out. Confidants rejoice when you rejoice and weep when you weep and they will never brush anything under the rug because their love for your friendship is always mendable.
2. CONSTITUENTS: This is a tough one. Constituents are not necessarily FOR YOU, they're just FOR what you are FOR. The reason this one is tough is because in the midst of excitement and momentum, their passion FOR what you are also FOR and your ability to work passionately together, makes you believe that this person is FOR YOU. If you need them to come through for something that you both show a common love for, they will come through no matter what. DO NOT mistake confidants for constituents. The reality is, as soon as they find something else they are FOR, MORE... they will leave you in the dust. Constituents can be around for several years before you realize they're not the confidants you thought they were. Their opinions of you can change OVERNIGHT once they find someone that has more of vested interest in what THEY ARE FOR than you do. My mentor told me to be careful who you tell your dreams to, because if you tell constituents your dreams, they will desert you and try to fulfill it without you.
3. COMRADES: This one is toxic. Comrades are not for you, they're also not for what you're for. They are just AGAINST what you are AGAINST. Comrade relationships are fleeting. Once you work together with a comrade and win the battle AGAINST what you are AGAINST, they no longer have a reason to be there. Comrade relationships form when you are worried too much about COMPETING with people and not enough focused on COMPLETING people. Comrades can be easily swayed by the very person they were once AGAINST. If the person or thing that they were against gives them a better advantage to get what they want by being against the person they were once with... they will act as if your relationship never even existed.
2017 was a hard year for me. I felt like I had no effort left to give to relationships/friendships so I stopped pouring out into the relationships I did have because I was so scared of being betrayed. Sometimes people, situations or events will cause you to think so little of yourself that you think what you have left is so insignificant that it won’t matter whether you pour it out or not. These seemingly insignificant insecurities that cause you to despise the smallness that you do have causes you to miss your miracle. It’s hidden in what you’ve been overlooking.
I have come to learn is if I focus on the struggle instead of the Journey I will eventually surrender to it.